Ask Amy: Friendship fail leads to wedding worry

I told her that either way I would understand; it’s her day, not mine.

She messaged me tonight, asking if I’d like to attend her wedding, adding that I’m invited, but not my fiance or my children.

I’ve never felt comfortable around her other friends, as she behaves very differently around them. (This behavior is what has caused us to fall out multiple times.)

Now I don’t know whether I should attend. On the one hand, I’d like to be there, because we’ve known each other since the first grade. I love her family, but I’m worried I’ll receive the same treatment from her and her friends that I have experienced before.

NOT going might be better than going. I wouldn’t want to go and then regret it.

However, I appreciate that she got over her pride and invited me.

What do I do? What should I say?

I don’t want to hurt her, but I also feel like after the last falling-out, we’ll never be close again.

AB in Illinois: Your friend has been open about her reluctance to have you attend her wedding. Her reluctance has been underscored by the ungracious way she extended the invitation, and the parameters she has imposed.

Additionally, you don’t really want to go.

I’d call that a mutual parting of the ways.

You do not need to bring the hammer down on this friendship, because it is quite obviously waning. You could respond, “I’m so happy for you; I know this will be a wonderful celebration. I appreciate the invitation, but unfortunately, I won’t be able to make it. I’ll be thinking of you on the big day.”

Dear Amy: One of my daughters got married last November.

My other daughter is getting married this November.

Can I wear the same dress to this wedding that I wore to last year’s wedding?

MOB X 2: You can wear whatever you want to wear, as long as you feel good about how you look.

However, before wearing the same dress to this daughter’s wedding, you should carefully think it through and talk it over with the prospective bride.

Weddings last for part of a day, but the wedding photos last forever. Try to envision how you would perceive the pictures of each daughter’s wedding over time. Would you feel at all self-conscious — after the fact — about essentially looking exactly the same in the two sets of photos, taken at different occasions, a year apart?

You might be able to alter your look by adding a shawl or a dressy coat over your favorite dress.

Dear Amy: I’m writing in response to your answer to “Lost,” the granddaughter whose grandmother was now in hospice care but a rift in the family had many family members unaware of the grandmother’s status.

A very valuable resource is the hospice program. All hospices are required to have both social workers and bereavement counselors. Contacting them (this can be done through the nurse or directly through

2021 wedding season to be a busy one

It’s been a roller coaster year for brides, grooms and the wedding industry. 

Many have had to completely change how their weddings were going to look. For some, that meant changing how many people they could invite because of COVID-19 restrictions. Now, wedding planners and vendors are already getting ready for what’s expected to be a crazy wedding season heading into next year.

Newlyweds Joe and Meagan Mayol started planning their dream wedding last fall. Joe said staying flexible was key because their plans practically changed on a daily basis. Once the pandemic hit, they realized their wedding was going to look a lot different.

“We just moved all of those deposits to next year because hopefully, we’ll still get to have that experience with friends and family,” said Meagan Mayol. 

The couple still had their special day this summer when they got married in Sunriver, but it looked a lot different. Instead of the two hundred people they had invited, the guest list was reduced to just 10 people.

Nora Sheils is the founder of Bridal Bliss in Lake Oswego. She said more than 70% of weddings have been postponed. Twenty-five percent are actually increasing their budgets.

“It’s looking to be two wedding seasons in one year, because you have all these 2020 postponements and then you have all the couples who were planning on getting married in 2021,” said Sheils.

For couples who had to change their special day like Shannon Ware and James Beedy, who decided to elope to Las Vegas during the pandemic, they’re still going to make sure they get that dream wedding.

“It’s a big wedding there will be more than 300 at Portland’s Golf Club, it’s a different type of wedding it’s Great Gatsby meets A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” said Ware.

But they will just have to exercise a little unplanned patience.

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It’s Time for the Fashion Industry to Stop Using ‘Ethnic’ and ‘Tribal’

A quick search on websites like Dresslily, Amazon, and Newchic for elaborately patterned and brightly colored shirts, dresses, and skirts will have customers often finding the word “ethnic” in the product description. Products that involved mixing patterns, multiple colors in mixed patterns, or that don’t have the classic American outdoors or preppy look are often categorized as “ethnic” or “tribal.”

“Tribal” is often used to describe prints inspired by Central and West African cultures, or to refer to patterns and fabrics that were inspired or co-opted from various African tribes throughout the continent, and broadly generalizes multiple African cultures like they are all monolithic.

Recently, the fashion industry was called out for its decades long use of the word “urban” to describe anything related to Black American culture. Now, diversity advocates in the fashion industry are calling for the use of words like “tribal” and “ethnic” to stop.

A quick google shopping search will reveal that various retailers still use the terms “tribal” and “ethnic” to describe various colorful geometric prints. ASOS describes several of their patterns on their website as “geo-tribal.” However, in an e-mail to The Daily Beast regarding any use of the word ethnic or tribal in their product copy, a representative said, “ASOS does not use this word to describe any of our products, and we have had strict guidelines in place to prevent any language like this from being used for numerous years.”

For generations, the use of the words “tribal” and “ethnic” persisted in fashion without anyone even batting an eye. “‘Tribal’ was a word they used in the early twentieth century. I’d even say as early at the 1920s the word ‘tribal’ was used to describe fashion,” said Amanda Hallay Heath, a fashion historian and founder of The Ultimate Fashion History Project. “’Native’ was even more popular. ‘Ethnic’ came in during the ‘70s.” The use of these terms among other terms that would now be deemed offensive or outdated persisted with no controversy throughout much of the twentieth century.

“Throughout most of the twentieth century, words such as ‘primitive,’ ‘tribal,’ and ‘ethnic’ were used with impunity with absolutely no thought,” Hallay Heath said.

It was only beginning in the past decade that diversity advocates in the fashion industry began to hammer down on the use of these terms and call out brands for using them. “Within the last ten years, the industry began to find more appropriate and respectful means of describing clothing and fashion inspired by other cultures,” Hallay Heath said.

Some fashion designers have been watching the industry use these terms for decades and were very conscious about how they were dated or generically lumping inspiration from minority cultures under one umbrella.

Fashion designer and Council of Fashion Designers of America member Kevan Hall has worked at some of America’s top design houses, most notably at Halston where he was creative director from 1998 to 2000. Over the course of his career, he has seen words like “tribal” and “ethnic” tossed

Here Are a Bunch of Super Easy Ways You Can Wear and Style a Scarf

Photo credit: Jeremy Moeller - Getty Images
Photo credit: Jeremy Moeller – Getty Images

From Cosmopolitan

Forget sweater season, it’s all about scarf season! Yes, knits are a cold-weather must, but the thing that makes your winter outfit look even cozier is a chic scarf thrown around your neck. It’ll save you from icy wind and it’s a great way to dress up or add a little something extra to your ensemble. And there are so many ways to wear them! Whether you’re knotting, looping, or knotting AND looping yours, the way you style your scarf can change up your ‘fit in an instant.

Here, I took some rectangular scarves I had in my closet to demonstrate nine ways to wear them. And if you ever doubted your scarf-styling skills (I’m guessing that’s why you landed on this very page), these are all super simple to nail, trust me.

There are even more ways to wear them depending on the other kinds of scarves you have like square ones or infinity ones, but longer rectangular ones are arguably the most basic and popular style during the colder months.

Need more winter how tos? Here are the different ways to wear a beanie and exactly how to clean those suede boots that have water damage or salt on them from last year. But back to scarves—let’s get into how to wear ’em below!

The Drape

This one’s pretty simple. Just throw it around your neck and let it hang, making sure the sides are even.

The Loop

Start this one off like how you’d drape it, but instead you’ll take one side and loop it around your neck once. Again, make sure the sides are even once complete.

The Tie

Hang it around your neck, and then taking the tails on both sides, tie them together and pull until the knot hits where you prefer.

The Toss Back

Throw on the scarf around your neck, but then take one side and toss it back behind you. It’s prob not the best for an exceptionally windy day since it might not stay put, but on any other cold day, go for it!

The Pull Though

Fold your scarf in half, drape it around your neck, and then take the two tails at one end and pull it through the loop. So easy!

The Loop and Tie

Welp, it sounds exactly like the description. Combine one loop with a simple knot to finish it off, and you’re all bundled up!

The Shawl

Widen out the scarf and simply lay if over your shoulders and upper arms. Chic, no?

The Extra Loose or Tight Loop

Similar to the regular loop, but, well, wrapped slightly more loose. But if that’s letting in wayyy too much cold air for you, try pulling it extra tight instead (without cutting into your windpipe, ofc).

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iPhone 12 lovers! These are the accessories you need to take your phone to the next level

The iPhone 12 is finally in our hands. Yes, we heard a ton of rumors about the design before it launched but Apple managed to surprise us once again with the return of MagSafe. While Apple lovers hold their breath with anticipation, phones are being unboxed at this very moment to enthused consumers and after getting the latest design, the next thing you want, after flaunting it without a cover for a few days, is to accessorize it with the latest tech. Discover companies and designs that are here, anticipating your excitement and ready to supply you with an army of accessories that upgrade your latest Apple adventure!

Say hello to the SuperCalla charging cable. It looks like most cables, except for that at certain intervals the SuperCalla cable has magnets around it. These magnets effortlessly organize your cables and keep them organized, thanks to the satisfying snap of magnetic attraction. I wish I had stuff to write about the SuperCalla but using it is so incredibly self-explanatory it seems borderline unnecessary. The cable can be coiled in a circular pattern, stuck together in a zigzag, or even wound up like you’d normally organize cables. Just make sure the magnets align and the SuperCalla has the innate ability to staying organized whether in your pocket, backpack, drawer, or even on your suitcase (yes, they’re travel-safe). The magnets allow you to easily open the cable out, using as much as necessary, therefore keeping your drawer, bag, and general workplace as neat as possible. Besides, I imagine they’re incredibly fun to fidget with too!

Vulcan isn’t a replacement for wireless charging but is just a remarkably better cable with truly unique features that are designed to work universally across all your devices. Once you plug the pin into its port, Vulcan does the rest, automatically locating, aligning, and connecting to the pin using a powerful pair of N52 Neodymium magnets. The magnets are strong enough to create a robust connection every time but calibrated perfectly to come apart in case the cable gets yanked or tugged by accident. Moreover, Vulcan is the only cable that works both ways, thanks to its reversible fast-charging feature. No matter which way you use the Vulcan, it supports high-speed power delivery, which does sound like something obvious, but it isn’t because other cables don’t provide the same output and speed reversibly. It’s also built to support 20W charging for the new iPhone 12, giving you a single cable that’s universally compatible, and that provides the fastest and most convenient way to quickly juice up your devices, be it your phone, earphones, tablets, gaming controllers, and even your USB-C laptop! Buy it here!

Meet the Magic Mouse Mini, a concept created by Yongbin Kim who gave the smartphone pop-socket the ultimate upgrade by also fitting an optical sensor into it! The Magic Mouse Mini looks and feels like your regular pop-socket. It attaches to the back of your phone, giving you a pop-out grip that you can

Below Deck Med’s Tiffany Copeland’s Wedding Cake: Photos

When Tiffany Copeland got married at a North Carolina ranch this fall, the decor was all abloom. While tying the knot with her beau, Evan Jones, the Below Deck Mediterranean alum wore a ruffled gown and carried a garden-style bouquet down the aisle. The couple’s altar was made of birch logs strung up with roses and leaves, and even the cake was studded with blossoms. 

Sharing more details from her October 10 wedding on Instagram Stories, the former marine biologist posted tempting photos of her dessert buffet. The couple’s cake, from Crystal Coast Desserts, was served on a natural wood slice. It was covered in thick, textured white frosting, and topped with a delicate sprig of baby’s breath, a deep purple dahlia, and a white rose. (These matched the flowers in Tiffany’s bridal bouquet.) 

There was more sweetness where that came from. The buffet also held pretty cupcakes in flavors such as German Chocolate and Champagne Raspberry.  

Want more Below Deck Mediterranean? New episodes air every Monday at 9/8c or catch up on the latest season through the Bravo app.

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Women Tend to Vote for Democratic Presidential Candidates More Than Men Do. Here’s How That Gender Gap First Came to Be

George Bush and Ronald Reagan Pointing
George Bush and Ronald Reagan Pointing

George Bush (L) and Ronald Reagan before the start of a debate before the League of Women Voters Forum in Houston in April 1980 Credit – Bettmann Archive/Getty Images

As the electoral odds facing President Donald Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden have continued to diverge in national and state polls, there’s at least one area where the divergence has been particularly striking: By early October, one national poll had Biden leading Trump by over 20 points among registered female voters; Trump and Biden were tied among likely male voters. Other October polls had Biden up an average of 25 points among women—which, if it holds, would be a record in modern elections.

Nationally, women in the U.S. have had the vote for 100 years. For the last 40 of those years, they have voted for the Democratic presidential candidate in greater numbers than men have. (Notably, this does not mean a majority of women always vote for the Democrat.) This remarkably durable voting pattern may not be a surprise this year, but it shook Republicans when it emerged in 1980—and examining the two parties’ responses to this voting pattern can help us understand the shape of American politics today.

It took 60 years for women to vote in the same proportion as men. In 1980, for the first time since the passage of the 19th Amendment, women voted at the same rate as men. That was also the first time they voted noticeably differently from men. Ronald Reagan beat Jimmy Carter by almost 10 percentage points in the 1980 presidential election. Among women voters, however, Reagan won by only a single percentage point (46% of the vote, compared to Carter’s 45%). Democrats immediately moved to claim the gender gap for political mileage even as Reagan’s supporters struggled to understand what had happened.

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Some relatively obvious things had changed for the Republican Party in 1980. The party removed support for the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) from its platform that year, after 40 years of relatively consistent support. Further, for the first time since Roe v. Wade was decided, there was a clear divide between the candidates on support for abortion rights, as Reagan was on the record supporting a constitutional amendment banning them. Interestingly, however, it was not at all clear these issues were driving the new gap in voting. Reagan’s own pollsters pointed out that a majority of both men and women supported the ERA and reproductive rights, but they still diverged in support for Reagan. What then was driving the gap?

In 1982, Democrats picked up 26 seats in the House of Representatives. Political analysts attributed this loss to the GOP’s continuing failure to win over women voters. A few days later, Reagan pollster Ronald Hinckley presented the administration with a memo analyzing the new voting pattern. The memo argued that Republicans’ biggest problem

South Carolina vs. LSU odds, line: 2020 college football picks, Week 8 predictions from proven model

The South Carolina Gamecocks and the LSU Tigers will face off in a SEC clash at 7 p.m. ET on Saturday at Tiger Stadium. South Carolina is 2-2 thus far this season, while LSU is 1-2 overall and 0-1 at home. The Tigers have struggled mightily on defense this season, giving up an average of 32 points per game. South Carolina, meanwhile, enters Saturday’s SEC showdown averaging 30.5 points per game on offense. 

The Tigers are favored by six-points in the latest LSU vs. South Carolina odds from William Hill, and the over-under is set at 55.5. Before entering any South Carolina vs. LSU picks, you’ll want to see the college football predictions from the proven computer model at SportsLine.

The SportsLine Projection Model simulates every FBS college football game 10,000 times. Over the past four-plus years, the proprietary computer model has generated a stunning profit of over $4,100 for $100 players on its top-rated college football picks against the spread. It is a sizzling 25-13 on top-rated picks through seven weeks of the 2020 college football season, returning over $700 in profit already. Anyone who has followed it has seen huge returns.

Now, the model has set its sights on LSU vs. South Carolina. You can head to SportsLine to see its picks. Here are several college football odds for South Carolina vs. LSU:

  • LSU vs. South Carolina spread: LSU -6
  • LSU vs. South Carolina over-under: 55.5 points
  • LSU vs. South Carolina money line: LSU -220, South Carolina +190

What you need to know about South Carolina

South Carolina beat the Auburn Tigers 30-22 last Saturday. RB Kevin Harris was the offensive standout of the contest for the Gamecocks, punching in two rushing touchdowns. Harris has been sensational for the Gamecocks this season, having already recorded six rushing touchdowns and 409 yards on 81 rushing attempts. Quarterback Collin Hill has also been a serious threat for Will Muschamp’s team, throwing for 842 yards and four touchdowns, while also adding four rushing scores.  

South Carolina has now won two straight SEC games, and the Gamecocks are 4-1-1 against the spread in their last six games against conference foes. However, South Carolina has struggled on the road, winning just two of its last eight games away from home. 

What you need to know about LSU

Meanwhile, LSU was within striking distance but couldn’t close the gap as the Tigers fell 45-41 to Missouri in their last outing. Despite the defeat, LSU got a solid performance out of WR Terrace Marshall Jr., who caught 11 passes for three touchdowns and 235 yards. One of the most thrilling moments was Marshall Jr.’s 75-yard TD reception in the third quarter.

Despite its slow start to the season, LSU will enter Saturday’s contest confident it can secure the victory. That’s because LSU has been dominant at Tiger Stadium, winning eight of its last nine home games. In addition, the Tigers are 6-0 in their last six games against the Gamecocks. 

How to make LSU vs.

Newlywed police officers celebrated for returning to work the day after their wedding

Soon after they committed to each other, this newlywed couple also showed their commitment to their jobs. 

Cole Hoyer and Kelly Momber are two police officers in Michigan with the Grand Rapids Police Department (GRPD). They were married in May, but less than 18 hours after they said their vows, the couple returned to work. 

This week, the GRPD recognized Hoyer and Momber on social media for their sacrifice. 


According to the Facebook post by the GRPD, Hoyer and Momber met at the police department and fell in love.

Like many other couples in 2020, they had to change their wedding plans because of the coronavirus pandemic. What was initially supposed to be a large wedding turned into a much smaller ceremony, the Facebook post said. 

“This certainly did not dampen their spirits and the joy of the day,” the GRPD wrote.


Hoyer and Momber’s wedding was on May 30, the same day that demonstrators began protesting police brutality in Grand Rapids, as part of a national response to the death of George Floyd in Minneapolis. 

According to a report from MLive at the time, the protests in Grand Rapids began peacefully but turned into a standoff with police. 


Many of Hoyer and Momber’s wedding party — who are also police officers — were called to help respond to the violent demonstrations shortly after their wedding ceremony, according to the GRPD. 

Two newlywed police officers with the Grand Rapids Police Department in Michigan returned to work less than 18 hours after they were married, earlier this year. (iStock)

Two newlywed police officers with the Grand Rapids Police Department in Michigan returned to work less than 18 hours after they were married, earlier this year. (iStock)

“Cole and Kelly were heartbroken, but their loyalty to the community they serve and the desire to be with their law enforcement brothers and sisters brought them into work the very next day, less than 18 hours after they were married,” the GRPD said on Facebook. 


“This type of sacrifice often goes unnoticed,” the GRPD added. “It can be thankless work, but the call to serve never sleeps and it does not take time off. Cole and Kelly are the epitome of what a GRPD officer is; self-sacrifice and stepping up to serve the community when they are needed the most. Thank you Cole and Kelly, and may you have a long and beautiful marriage!”


Hoyer and Momber were also celebrated online by military boot company Bates Footwear in its own Facebook post.

“Thank you to you both, Cole and Kelly, for stepping up to serve your community when it needed you most,” the footwear company wrote. “Congratulations on your marriage and stay safe!”


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Palm Harbor Family’s Cat Leaves Them Gift Of Rare 2-Headed Snake

PALM HARBOR, FL — Just in time for Halloween, a Palm Harbor family made a discovery that would give even the most hard-core creepy crawler fan the heebie-jeebies.

The Rogers family found a rare two-headed Southern black racer snake at their home.

The baby snake is now in the care of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission Fish and Wildlife Research Institute in St. Petersburg. It has an extraordinary condition called bicephaly in which two monozygotic twins fail to separate, leaving two heads conjoined to a single body.

The research institute said both of the tongues flick and react to movement but not necessarily at the same time, indicating that the reptile has two brains that can react independently.

This would inhibit the snake’s ability to feed or escape from predators so its chances of surviving in the wild are poor. The institute will, therefore, keep the snake safe and take the opportunity to study this unusual phenomenon.

Saving the lives of even the smallest creature is par for the course for the Rogers family.

Kay Rogers is a registered nurse who works the front lines at John Hopkins All Children’s Hospital. Her husband also works on the front lines as a member of the U.S. Coast Guard.

Rogers couldn’t resist joking about her family’s once-in-a-lifetime discovery, saying, “Another day in the Rogers Family Zoo, y’all!”

While a two-headed snake is admittedly an unusual pet, the Rogers family makes a habit of rescuing helpless creatures, including dogs, cats, birds and guinea pigs.

Her children, Avery and Wyatt, named the snake Dos (Spanish for “two”). However, Rogers credits its discovery to their cat, Olive, who brought the tiny snake into the house and deposited it in the living room as a “gift” for the family.

While the snake was in the family’s care, Rogers said feeding it posed the biggest dilemma.

“We are trying lots of things, but he has trouble coordinating his two heads,” she said.

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