Style Conversational Week 1407 with the Empress of The Style Invitational

I don’t think The Style Invitational has done a contest just like Week 1407, in which you’re invited to come up with a slogan, pitch, jingle, whatever for a product placement or endorsement in space, a kindergarten, or several other unlikely venues. (Just be funny!) But the Invite does have some classic ink with advertising themes. Here’s a selection.

Report from Week 910 [2011], in which we asked you to alter a well-known ad slogan slightly and assign it to someone else: Many suggested “You deserve a brake today” for Toyota, “We’ll leave the lights off for you” as perfect for Pepco, and, for Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, “Look for the union libel.”

The winner of the Inker: TSA airport security: If we don’t pet it, you don’t jet it. (Rachel Braun, Silver Spring, a First Offender)

2. Bud Selig: The boor that made Milwaukee famous. (Roy Ashley, Washington)

3. Nordic Flex: Your weak end just got better. (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park)

4. U.S. Postal Service: “When it absolutely, positively has to be there eventually.” (Trevor Kerr, Chesapeake, Va.)

P.T. Barnum: You deserve a freak today. (Malcolm Fleschner, Palo Alto, Calif.)

Next Day Blinds: Because love is not a spectator sport. (Dave Coutts, Severna Park, a First Offender)

Rahm Emanuel: Let your finger do the talking. (Michael Greene, Alexandria)

Charlie Sheen: Sometimes you feel like a nut. Other times you may also. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn)

National Bar Association: Fee all that you can fee. (Dion Black, Washington; Paulette Rainie, McLean, a First Offender)

Propecia: Say no to rugs. (Seth Tucker, Washington)

The British monarchy: When it reigns, it bores. (Gary Crockett)

Agriculture lobby: Please don’t squeeze the farmin’. (Mae Scanlan, Washington)

Washington Fertility Center: When it absolutely, positively has to be their ova night. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

TSA: Reach out and touch someone’s … (Seth Tucker)

Al’s shoeshine stand: Pardon me, do you have any stray poop on? (Dave Prevar, Annapolis)

Week 1003 (2013) repurposed ad slogans without changing them:

The winner of the Inkin’ Memorial: Find Your Own Road (Saab) for the D.C. snow removal office. (Brendan Beary, Great Mills, Md.)

2. It Keeps Going and Going and Going (Energizer batteries) for Viper Car Alarms (Neal Starkman, Seattle)

3. If Only Everything in Life Were as Reliable as a Volkswagen (VW) for Viagra (Dana Austin, Falls Church, Va.)

4. Blow Your Own Bubble (Bubble Yum) for Fannie Mae (Steve Heyman, Chicago*)

When It Absolutely, Positively Has to Be There Overnight (Federal Express) for Santa’s Workshop (Cheryl Davis, Arlington, Va.)

Take Aim Against Cavities (Aim toothpaste) for the TSA (Brendan Beary)

Cover the Earth (Sherwin-Williams) for BP (David Kleinbard, Jersey City)

Sooner or Later, You’ll Own Generals (General Tire) for Lockheed Martin (Dion Black, Washington; Joe Godles, Bethesda, Md.)

Born 1820, Still Going Strong (Johnnie Walker) for Hugh Hefner (Amanda Yanovitch, Midlothian, Va.)

Think Outside the Box (Apple) for Maryland Cremation Services (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.; Jerry Birchmore, Springfield, Va.)

Because That’s the Kind of Mom You Are

Style Conversational Week 1406 with the Empress of The Style Invitational

This isn’t to say that you can’t write about ongoing topics in the world right now. But do try to think about how it would read two weekends after Election Day.

We did a contest a while back for acrostic limericks, a challenge that many found absurdly daunting. This week’s, however, has no requirements other than that the poem’s lines begin with letters that spell out something relevant — and of course that it be readable and entertaining. And, okay, humorous. And clever. Those qualities don’t require that the poem have well-crafted meter and/or rhyme, but meter and rhyme undeniably are elements of cleverness.

There now is a man (you know who)

Who pours out his heart on the loo

Each grudge he has held — Emphatic, misspelled

The musings of Whiny the Pooh. (Gary Crockett)

Come and join me for dinner today!

Have a lobster, foie gras, a filet!

Even though it’s a date —

And it’s gonna be great! —

Perhaps you could offer to pay? (Beverley Sharp)

No-nonsense Pelosi is known

As the one who makes Trump look half-grown.

Nancy sets him down hard,

Catching Donnie off guard.

You can tell she’s had kids of her own. (Jonathan Jensen)

This week’s example is not from an earlier Invitational, but from the online poetry journal Light, which is sort of Invite-adjacent, given that its editor is 168-time Loser Melissa Balmain (who took it over upon the death of founder John Mella) and it’s featured the light verse of many Invitational regulars — or, as we call them, Loserbards. Like many journals in this age, Light used to be print-only and now is online-only. But in addition to the two voluminous issues that Light’s all-volunteer staff releases each year, it also presents numerous Poems of the Week based on recent news items. See the guidelines for submission here; like the Empress, Melissa and managing editor Kevin Durkin judge submissions without seeing the authors’ names.

Mike Mesterson-Gibbons’s acrostic sonnet “A Hard-to-Swat Fly” was one of the Poems of the Week from Sept. 14. And to prove he’s no fluke, Mike — a professor emeritus of mathematics at Florida State, specializing in game theory — has another one featured in Light this very week:

“An angry elk gored a Colorado man finishing a round of golf over the weekend” — CNN

The golfer needs to understand the rut,

Especially when bulls are on the green.

Elks don’t much care if you just want to putt,

If keen to steal their dames is how you’re seen!

No golfer should be ignorant of how

Golf carts sound like a serenader’s tune:

Once bulls believe you’re coveting a cow,

Forget about a quiet afternoon!

For golfing irons poking from a bag,

Approaching in a golf cart on the grass,

Not only look like antlers to a

Writers – The Importance of a Conversational Writing Style

Readers like to sit back and relax when they read a book or article in a magazine. And it is easiest for them to do this when the book or article is not only easy to read, but a delight to read. As an author, the best way for you to accomplish this is to use a conversational style when you write. Use devices that make your readers enjoy what they are reading. Make them chuckle every so often, and smile when they have finished your article. Some of the best ways of doing this are:

  • Be enthusiastic, and let your enthusiasm show through in your writing.
  • Let your feelings in general show through. If you feel strongly about something, tell your reader. If you feel great that day, let them know. But be careful; try not to offend anyone if you feel terrible.
  • Use contractions such as "we'll, I'll," and so on, frequently.
  • Use personal pronouns such as "You, I, we" and so on. Writers are sometimes reluctant to use "I ', thinking it makes them look egotistic, but this isn't the case. Many of the best writers use" I "frequently.
  • Talk to you readers in the way you would talk to somebody sitting next to you. In short, "write as you talk."
  • Ask questions every so often, and answer them. The best place to ask a question is at the beginning of a paragraph, and the best place to answer it is in the next sentence.
  • Use quotes sometimes. Nothing brings an article to life more than a quote, particularly if it is humorous, or significant.
  • Use incomplete sentences every so often. This might seem like a no-no, but it's actually a sign that the writer is a professional. Look through some of the best writing and you'll see incomplete sentences used frequently.
  • Be personal. Be yourself. Don't be afraid to use an anecdote or short story about yourself, or comment about how you feel about something. If the anecdote is a good one, and definitely makes a point, it will help your article immensely.
  • Use humor. Humor is great, and if you've got a good sense of humor you're lucky, so use it. I'll be the first to admit that it's not easy to be humorous, so thank your lucky stars if you have the ability. Some of the best books to learn about humor are those by Bill Bryson, and "A Walk in the Woods" is one of his best.

Perhaps the best advice in relation to writing with a conversational style is to relax when you write. Sit back and let yourself go. Write anything that comes into your head. If it turns out to be terrible, you can always take it out when you edit. The important thing is to be a little daring.

Source Article